Making the Most of a Relationship When Both Partners Radiate Ambition

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By: Jessica Danielle Ramirez

A conversation to your best friend usually starts off like this: “He’s a great guy and we connect on so many levels, but he lacks one thing.. ambition.” 

Or what about this: “He matches my ambition and supports my dreams, but life is pulling us in two different directions.” And of course, there are the lucky ones who find themselves saying, “being with him is so easy. We support each other and he understands my hustle.”

While not everyone can be as lucky to encounter one who mirrors their drive, there are ways to navigate around the nearly-out-of-reach guy and have a meaningful relationship.

Ambition is a hands-down an attractive trait to have. Reaching for goals and dreams is admirable, it shows that you are a go-getter, risk taker and willing to be fearless while chasing after your dreams.

Although it’s pleasant to meet someone with career goals, it’s also great to have your own.  One misconception among young women with their own aspirations is that their goals are intimidating. 

Relationship expert Nikki Novo said, “we’ve been taught by society that there are two kinds of women: the bimbo or the bitch. And we’re way more scared of being the bitch.”

For 27-year-old Salina Moreno, a social worker who wants to make a positive impact in the Latino community, her aspirations have always made her intimidating to men. 

“When I speak about myself, I speak very confidently. As a social worker, my stories aren’t usually what a guy wants to hear from a female,” Moreno said. “They act like they want to hear it, but have no understanding or reasoning why I do what I do.”

But of course, that is not always the situation. VOXXI journalist Griselda Nevarez, 24, has been with her boyfriend for one year and says she has never experienced conflict when it comes to her goals and her love life.

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“I think it was my ambitions that drew him to me, because he is just as ambitious as I am,” she said.

Regardless of one’s stance on handling the ambitious person, one thing is for certain.

“You can be a badass at the office and still be feminine, as long as you own it and don’t apologize for being who you are,” stated Novo.

And if you’ve fallen for the nearly-out-of-reach ambitious guy, there is a way to make it work while fulfilling your own career goals.

“The best you can do is to know your boundaries. If you’re going to sacrifice for your partner’s career, ask yourself if you’ll resent not going after your own dreams five years from now. If you can find a partner who is willing to grow and evolve with you, you’ll be able to make decisions that are best for the both of you,” she continued.

Until then, focusing on your own goals and climbing the career ladder may bring you the fulfillment you need and it may bring you the right person along the way. 

“We both strive to grow professionally and we’re constantly supporting each other to do better,” said Nevarez.