Knock Knock It’s Your Ex: What to Do When the Ex Comes Back Around

By: Jessica Danielle Ramirez

Everyone has that one person who got away, left you in tears or suddenly changed his mind about you. 

After many days, weeks, months or even years of girls’ nights out, dancing at the hottest night clubs and coffee dates with your friends re-evaluating the burning relationship and figuring out where it all went wrong, you begin to feel like yourself again.

And then the unimaginable happens.

He contacts you.

Before reaching for the phone there are a few things to think about before connecting with a past love. 

First, understand why he is trying to rekindle the romance. Relationship and dating specialist Elena Burnett said, “if you don’t chase him around, he will come back either out of curiosity or because he really cares about you.”

But what is it that changes a man around? The answer might be simple, he misses her, but it can also be a biological matter. 

“It takes time for him to figure out what he feels. [Women] think and feel at the same time,” Burnett said, “while they have a one-track mind, they are either thinking or feeling but not simultaneously.”

However, if all has ended and the couple has gone their ways, what is it that provokes the guy to make the first move?  

“They want to assure that you are still around. It makes them feel good,” explained Burnett.

While everyone’s decision to give a past flame another shot at love depends on the depth of their relationship. There are two questions Burnett advises to ask yourself before making the move. 

1. What was the reason why the relationship ended?
2. What could change this time around?

If both answers don’t give you the vibe to move forward, then maybe it’s best to let it be. “If the guy really wants to be with you and he hasn’t cleaned up his act–whatever that might be, then, you must move on,” she said.

Ultimately, it’s your happiness, life and what you want. While friends and family may have their opinion or comments about your decision to let him back in, it’s your happiness and ultimately your choice to give the one that got away another chance.