Don't Let Jealousy Get In the Way of a Healthy Relationship

By: Jessica Danielle Ramirez

Jealousy is hands-down the worst trait to carry in a relationship. It can do numerous things to a couple, such as initiate fights, cause you to blame each other for arguments and causes big time insecurities. But most importantly, it has the potential to break a relationship.

You may argue that you and the guy in your life have the perfect relationship with no traces of the green-eyed monster, but that doesn’t mean that it may never show up. Jealousy can happen at any stage in a relationship.

There are a variety of reasons why jealousy occurs. Two things that build this negative feeling are low self-esteem and a lack of trust. 

Author and counselor Mariulis  Rodriguez explained what causes someone to feel that way. “The person lives with an ongoing sense of fear of being cheated on or being replaced with someone else.”

Each relationship is different, but many couples experience similar stages. In the beginning, you may feel like you’re on cloud nine and then months or even years later, you encounter problems and recognize differences. But jealousy may slide in when you least expect it.

“If the person is in constant fear of losing their significant other’s attention, it excessively leads the person to search for any type of attention,” Rodriguez said. She also explained how romantic jealousy is natural.

“One thing is the inevitable and over not knowing control. We must learn to control our emotions.”

Although the unpleasant feeling is common and can happen to the best of people, there are steps to take that can save a few arguments and send the green-eyed monster away.

The first step is found through open communication. Talking to your significant other and making sure that you two are on the same page can go a long way.

Second, don’t let the feeling of possession be a part of your life. “The secret is to not let it develop as the main part of your emotions,” Rodriguez said.

It’s simple to fall into jealousy in the age of social media, where connecting with the world is quicker than ever before. If you’re the one who is experiencing jealousy, it’s best to find out if the threat is real or merely a fantasy.

“A jealous mind is prone to magnify small things quickly resulting in a response totally disproportionate,” she said.

So the next time you find yourself on the verge of being possessive, think twice and don’t let it get between your love and most importantly, your happiness.

Mariulis Rodriguez is a Miami-based family counselor and author of two book: Dios Si Existe and Contra Todo Pronostico.