An Attempt at Being Honest
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Dr. Nicolas J. Porter, Founder and CEO of Risas Dental and Braces and Host of Dr. Nicolas Show
By Dr. Nicolas Porter
For the past few weeks, as you may or may not have noticed, I’ve not had a new article in my column. Despite the pleas from mi querida asistente, Zelene, my mind has just not wanted to exert the energy that it takes to put my thoughts on paper.
Part of the problem, of course, is that I find most dental topics to be boring. Not boring, but just stuff that you, the reader, can go to a million websites and read about. Teeth whitening, gum disease, braces etc. – all topics that are written about ad nauseam. I wish I could claim to be such a great communicator that I can put a magical spin on these topics and make them an easier read, but I can’t.
Instead, I’m going to make an attempt to venture in to the world of something personal; something revealing about me; something that you may relate to more than the talk of root canals, implants and surgery. I’m going to invite you in to the life of Dr. Nicolas – the good, the bad, the sad, the happy, the success, the failure, the gain, the loss, the joy and the pain.
From the mouth of Dr. Nicolas is a journey through the mind, heart and soul of one who has experienced much of what you are experiencing. Even in the midst of success and the perceived “good life” you will find stories that will make you laugh, cry, cheer, boo, and hopefully be inspired to know that anything is possible no matter the circumstances.
If there’s one thing you can learn from my life it’s this: It does NOT matter where you come from if you want success and happiness. It does NOT matter what language you speak, what your parents did or didn’t do, how much you were abused as a child, how much you were teased or bullied, nor does it matter how much money you do or do not have!
I say all of those things, but then I re-read what I wrote and the first thing I think is, “Yes, all of those things DO matter!” However, they don’t matter in the way you might think I mean. The way all of these things matter is how YOU let them affect your life! Do you use them as an excuse for failure or do you use them as an excuse to win.
Let me tell you about two brothers, one named John and the other, Paul. Both from the same parents, but that were the end of their similarities. John, the elder, has spent most of his life in and out of prison for drug use and armed robbery. He has been through two failed marriages and just can’t seem to get it right.
When asked, “John, what happened to you? Why this path?” John tells, “It’s because of my dad. Look at him – abusive, alcoholic, in and out of prison since I was a child. How could I NOT be what I am with a father who gave me so little?”
Paul, on the other hand, had his stuff together. A college graduate with an MBA; he was an executive for the top consulting firm in the country. Married with 3 kids he had the world by the horns and when ask, “Paul, what happened to you? Why this path?” Paul responds, “It’s because of my dad. Look at him – abusive, alcoholic, in and out of prison since I was a child. How could I NOT be what I am with a father who gave me so little?
How can you have two separate pathways that couldn’t be farther from each other based on the EXACT same response from both brothers? The answer is simple – the only thing that matters in all of this is how your circumstances motivate you. How do YOU allow them to alter your life?
All of these are issues that you CANNOT control! No matter what you try, you cannot change the path of someone else and you usually can’t change the hand you are dealt in life. The only thing that you can control is what you do with those things. YOUR attitude about those things and how they will affect you is the only thing that will separate you from success or not.
I know because I’ve lived both sides of this thinking. When I was 15 years old some clown coach at a baseball camp told me that it mattered where I grew up and that though I was one of the top athletes at the camp, I would not have a chance to play in college because I grew up in a small town and went to a small high school.
The worst part is that I listened and I didn’t stop listening to that voice for another 8 years! It was because of my poor thinking after that incident that prevented me from doing some amazing things beyond high school. I didn’t even try after that point. In fact, this poor thinking almost prevented me from becoming a dentist because I didn’t think I was good enough to do it since my upbringing and past mattered so much. (I’ll tell that story another time).
Don’t let this happen to you. Let me be the one to tell you that you can be whatever you want to be. I’ve experienced it myself and I’ve seen countless numbers of people overcome unbelievable circumstances to live a life with impact. You want to be a dentist? Great! Go to school and do it! An astronaut? Awesome, do it! A great father? Amazing, the best responsibility a man can take on! Or maybe you want to get your GED? Do it! Don’t let the fact that you didn’t finish high school affect years of your life! Who cares! Just go get it done! I believe we are all here for a reason.
As Mark Twain says, “The two most important days in a man’s life are the day he is born and the day he figures out why.”
The first day already happened for us. Use your past, your struggles, your pain and your excuses as a reason to find the second day.
Until next week – Keep that chin up and smile!
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