Latinas Looking for Love and a Soul Mate

By Diana Bejarano

Es mejor estar sola, que mal acompañada!  

February is the month most associated with love because of St. Valentine’s Day. For single women, it’s not always the most favorite month of the year. But it can be a time to learn to love, be kind and work on yourself.  

I recently found an old list of characteristic traits that I had written down regarding what I wanted in a soul-mate. Some of the things on my list were tall, handsome, physically fit, educated, confident, honest, faithful, giving, loving, strong and financially stable.  

Writing a list of what you want is a good thing. However, if I were to write a list like that today, I would make a list for me to focus on working on for myself. For example, if I want someone who likes to hike, ski or participates in a lot of physical activity then I would need to focus on doing those things. Because I believe that looking for someone with the characteristics you want in a partner need to start with you first.  

I hear from hundreds of single Latinas each week online and in-person and one of the things I consistently hear is how hard it is to find someone honest, someone giving, someone loyal, trustworthy, smart, educated, spiritual, attractive, etc. What I have learned is it’s better to focus on working on ourselves to become and embody each of the characteristics that we want in a soul-mate or partner.

Because like attracts like, I firmly believe that once you focus on yourself and learn to truly love and respect yourself, you will draw the same type of person into your life that you have become. It’s not always easy to say or hear or do this self-work, but it’s necessary because being the right person is equally important as finding the right person. It requires assessing your own values, morals, characteristics, habits and being extremely honest with where you are and creating a plan to change the areas that need to be changed. Striving to be the “fill in the blank” type person will result in attracting the same type of person.  

We must be who we want to attract. Then, and only then, will we attract that “right” person into our lives. If you are genuinely a happy positive person, you will attract those type of people into your life. Likewise, if you are a negative person, you will most likely attract a negative person into your life.   

I’ve learned that relationships are like magnets. If you are angry, hurt or depressed all of the time, you will most likely attract a mate with similar issues. Wanting an emotionally healthy relationship requires becoming emotionally healthy. And remembering that no one can “fix” another person is key.  

Relationships, including platonic ones, are also like mirrors reflecting back different aspects about ourselves. Paying attention to the reflection and being honest with ourselves about what each person in our lives might be reflecting to us can be very insightful and beneficial to creating the person you want to be and that you want in your life as a soul-mate.  

I applaud all of the single Latinas who have chosen not to settle and who are working on themselves before getting into another relationship.  

As our abuelas would say, es mejor estar sola, que mal acompañada!

An Arizona native, Diana Bejarano, is a blogger, columnist, motivational speaker, marketing professional at Arizona State University and a graduate of ASU’s Walter Cronkite School of Journalism and Mass Communication. Reach her at latinastillstanding@yahoo.com or on facebook.com/latinastillstanding. To purchase Latina Still Standing apparel visit:https://latinastillstanding1.com.